Author Archives: Content Opportunity

Design Argument experiences sharp readership increase as blog quality declines

With feeds from Ronn Torossian, 5WPR and Aish Hatorah – The Design Argument readership is hitting dramatic new heights in readership size but it seems to be coming at a price.

mixed fishDavid Hume consultants have been brought in to analyze the foremost teleological blog in the known and seemingly designed universe. David Hume determined that the quality of writing has decreased by a stunning 37%. The analysis is based on several factors including originality of content, readability level, cogency, and genre-appropriateness.

“In almost every conceivable area Design Argument is failing to deliver decent content,” said the 17th century Scottish philosopher David Hume. “The fact that readership levels are soaring within the same time cycles as the shameful drop in writing quality may be akin to the same social forces that led to Avatar becoming a box office smash. There is no content in that film at all or if there is I missed it while I was sleeping.”

Hume went on to give a blistering criticism of the argument for design. If a well-ordered natural world requires a special designer, then God’s mind (being so well-ordered) also requires a special designer. And then this designer would likewise need a designer, and so on ad infinitum. We could respond by resting content with an inexplicably self-ordered divine mind but then why not rest content with an inexplicably self-ordered natural world? Often, what appears to be purpose, where it looks like object X has feature F in order to secure outcome O, is better explained by a filtering process: that is, object X wouldn’t be around did it not possess feature F, and outcome O is only interesting to us as a human projection of goals onto nature. This mechanical explanation of teleology anticipated natural selection.

“I am chagrined by the low calibre of content in recent posts on the Design Argument Blog,” remarked Martin Goldstein who is also falling behind on his “720 apologies in 3 days” project. “I am in such a tizzy. I am so sorry.”

There are some Design Argument observers that are concerned that the site is repeating itself and is losing its relevancy.

“How many times do we have to hear about how vulgar and unethical Ronn Torossian and 5WPR is? How many times do we have to read about how Aish HaTorah plays fast and loose with the truth? I mean it is all true but so what? I liked the post with the monkey playing the piano and the three cute dogs and what not. That was a quality post. I just don’t need to hear anymore about how Aish deceives people with their phony bible codes,” said an anonymous Design Argument fan.

Another Design Argument fan said that the stress on the weirdness of Chabad outreach and Jews for Jesus “is beginning to bore me. But I did like all that Ed Sullivan stuff.”

Martin Goldstein, taking time out from his apology tour, stated that he was going to personally see to it that the quality and originality of the blog content will be improved “as of this very post. However I still want to get my keywords in,” he chuckled.

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Martin Goldstein pleased by Aish HaTorah, Chabad, Dawkins alliance

Aish and Chabad: Outbreach of Trust and Faith

Aish HaTorah and Chabad have been spreading misinformation and lies for years in an effort to “save souls”. In a sense that is the norm since, if you analyze it in a harsh way, most businesses are involved in some form of lie, exaggeration, or enticement in order to grow their revenue. Chabad and Aish HaTorah in their cult like behaviour are businesses in a very real sense. They have a product, they market that product and they are concerned about their bottom lines.

Atheism is also a business, particularly for entrepreneurs such as Richard Dawkins who used to be a scientist. He is selling atheism products in his store and using the cute tilted red “A” symbol as his new branding image (nice brand Ricky!). Just before Christmas he was selling holiday bundles! And I thought he didn’t believe in Santa! His wares include: various DVDs and DVD sets, t-shirts, baseball caps, sweatshirts with hoods, books, audiobooks, , mugs, stickers, tote bags, and lapel pins with the cute “A” on it.

Martin Goldstein is very pleased that Richard Dawkins has managed to use his atheism as a springboard for greater recognition and financial success. “Dawkins, Chabad, Aish HaTorah, Jews for Jesus, etc. all feed off each other and keep each other going,” said Goldstein, Chief Evangelical Leader of Goldstein Subaru and Goldstein Auto. “They don’t know how closely linked they are and I find that to be just so cute and adorable.”

Martin Goldstein predicts that Dawkins, Chabad, Aish HaTorah, and Jews for Jesus will put aside their differences and form a strategic alliance to promote their ideas and increase their revenue flows. “The secret is that they are already doing this without knowing it,” says Goldstein. “What on the outside seems like opposing theistic/atheistic/messianic views, is really all just something I like to call “Theatre of the Brain.”

Performance of “Theatre of the Brain” by the Outreach Bunnies

chabad aish dawkins jews-for-jesus

Members of Chabad, Aish HaTorah, Jews for Jesus, with Richard Dawkins.

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Martin Goldstein refuses to recommend tapeworm diet, Chabad angered

Content Opportunity with reports from the Argument from Bad Design and anonymous Chabad members – The Tyra Banks show continues to feature the tapeworm diet with guests that are promoting it as being good for Israel and the Jewish people.

On the latest show, representatives of the controversial religious group Chabad were praising the tapeworm diet as an essential part of their form of orthodoxy and a critical facet of their kiruv or outreach to non-observant Jews.

A Chabadnik, Menachem Mendel, on the Tyra Banks show had to travel to Monsey, New York. He had not been to Monsey before, which he described as an 18th century shtetl just north of Manhattan. It was replete with people who had the dress and mannerisms of 18th Eastern European Jews but was otherwise like a typical American suburban town.

Many different groups live in Monsey: Satmar, Belz, Ger, Modern Orthodox, Yekke (to use a mildly derogative term to describe those of German origin), people who hate Chabad and we pretend to love and so on. A wide swath of Orthodox Jewry (and a number of Conservative and Reform Jews as well). These people are raising their families with high-powered Judaism. They live in an environment where one can live an observant life, and where the community re-enforces the lifestyle by making halachic (observant) Judaism the normative way to live.

There is also a growing Jewish tapeworm community in Monsey. Either by attending one of the Tapeworm Yeshivas, going to a kiruv (outreach) event, or by being m’kareved (brought close) by a Monsey tapeworm family, there are people who are impressed with what they see in the strange Jewish tapeworm diet that pervades Monsey and want to be part of it.

“Whereas groups like Aish Hatorah and their website aish.com use a faux intellectual approach while really appealing to people who are immersed in pop culture and way too much television, Chabad appeals directly to the soul of the Jew. ” said Chabad rep Menachem Mendel. “This means that we feed them a lot of food and ply them with hard liquor. When they are all liquored up we say things that are supposedly from Chassidus and blow their minds. That is when we introduce the tapeworm.”

According to our anonymous sources the tapeworms are put into a famous Shabbos lunch item known as a “cholent” (sijmilar to Irish stew but causing a great deal more flatulence). The guest eats this dish with the tapeworm or tapeworms and then his or her soul is influenced to become observant.

The Tyra Banks show is planning to bring back members of other Jewish outreach organization who are already using the tapeworm. There is speculation that Aish HaTorah is already planning to introduce the tapeworm into the refreshments that they serve at their Discovery seminars. The Discovery seminars are sponsored by Aish HaTorah. The purpose of the seminars are to inculcate Jews regarding their religious heritage by using intellectual smoke and mirrors. What is relevant about Judaism to modern Jews that watch a lot of CSI on TV? Why should one be an observant Jew? Does God exist? Did God design the universe (design argument)? Is it appropriate to use tapeworms in order to influence Jews to become Torah observant? These are some of the questions that the Discovery Seminar takes on.

One of the topics that Discovery covers are the phony Bible codes. Some people have claimed that the codes are the only thing Discovery talks about. Wrong. It is just one of the most marketable aspects of it.

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Aish HaTorah Chose a Spokes-Animal to Represent Them

“F*** you very much,” Ronn Torossian, Aish Spokes-Animal


Content Opportunity, December, 23, 2009Aish HaTorah chose wisely when they picked 5WPR to represent their public relations issues. That is the same Aish that is an “apolitical” organization.

The Man Who Hears Things

Rabbi Dan Rand, Managing Director of Aish Toronto told Martin Goldstein that the primary mission of Aish HaTorah was to stop Jewish assimilation and intermarriage. Everything else was secondary including any spiritual development. Our guess is that the spiritual stuff is window dressing so as to distract from their primary goal. We believe that they will pursue their primary mission by any means necessary and if that includes lying about “bible codes” and propping up Kelleman’s silly arguments to make people feel intellectually “comfortable” to “be religious” then so be it.

Martin Goldstein has been through it all and seen how they work. He has witnessed what Rabbi Rand refers to as “Aish nuclear fallout” (we won’t say whom he was referring to). He has seen the internecine squabbles and witnessed the loshon harah (harmful speech). Basically he has seen the hypocrisy and corruption of the organization. An organization is corrupt when their primary mission is not declared publicly and they use a secondary mission as an obfuscation. They are lying to themselves and to the Jews who are looking to find some spiritual Judaism.

Martin Goldstein believes that Aish HaTorah is finding a measure of success in achieving their primary mission. But that success is coming at a cost. We do hope that they take this honest criticism to heart but we have faint hope of that since these are fundamentalists and fundamentalism is like a mountain that cannot be budged.

So it does not surprise us that Aish has chosen a man, Ronn Torossian, who embodies what Aish is as an institution. Nice on the outside, aggressive to the core and disdainful of other organizations or people who do not see things their way. Ronn is also a skilled manipulator and liar, perfect for the needs of Aish HaTorah.

Here from Gawker.com is the story of Ronn Torossian, the current Rebbe of Aish HaTorah:

When Ronn Torossian, the incompetent superflack and 5WPR CEO who reps characters ranging from softcore porn king Joe Francis to nutty televangelist Benny Hinn Ministries, sued his former HR director Melissa Weiss last week, he was using a classic PR tactic: getting out ahead of the story. Ronn alleged in his suit that Weiss helped an employee leave 5W, thereby violating her contract. But Weiss has her own side of the story: that she was fired because she protested extensive, ongoing labor violations at 5WPR. What we know—because we have the evidence—is that on Friday, Ronn sent Weiss an email threatening, “You will pay for the rest of your life for trying to ruin my business.” The subject line read, “YOU STUPID CUNT.”

It’s important to understand why we—and others—talk about Ronn Torossian so much. He and his firm are far from the biggest players in the PR industry, so it may seem strange that he gets so much attention. The real reason he matters is that he embodies the public’s worst ideas about what a PR person is: loud, brash, more flash than substance, dirty, manipulative, amoral, and, in the end, not particularly bright. The real movers and shakers in the PR industry achieved their positions partly by keeping their mouths shut. That doesn’t make them better people than Ronn, but it does make them wiser.

Most people would be surprised to find out how much time the average PR person spends worrying about their industry’s reputation as a den of lying bastards. Ronn has the touchiness, but not the reflective nature, of his peers. A few years ago I wrote an article in PRWeek calling him a self-promoter (a vast understatement), and we haven’t gotten along ever since. Each of us thinks the other is a jerk; I’m happy with that, and I assume he is too.

Mention 5W or Ronn to most people in the PR industry, and you will draw a chuckle or a roll of the eyes. Mention him to most reporters who have been the recipients of his ALL CAPS, nonsensical email blasts , and you’ll draw an even worse reaction. When I covered the PR industry for three years at PRWeek, I don’t recall ever hearing any unqualified praise of Ronn from anyone who was off the record. That’s not normal. He gets more press for himself than just about anybody else in PR, and consequently, has a huge effect on how people perceive the industry as a whole. And that drives a lot of people crazy, because he is just a terrible representative. Although, it must be said, he is colorful, and provides good copy—he embraces the (misguided) “all press is good press” philosophy, even if his peers wish he didn’t.

Hopefully, the emails below are evidence enough for the world to see exactly why Ronn inspires the feelings that he does. He will often brag about building his firm from the ground up, and his claims are true; to the extent that you admire unbridled entrepreneurship independent of any social value, you should admire Mr. Torossian. But fundamentally, he’s a hustler; and, as a PR professional, he has no idea what he’s doing.

According to Melissa Weiss’ lawyer, she found out soon after she was hired at 5W last month that Ronn was violating the law by miscategorizing employees and not paying them overtime. “Ms. Weiss reported these violations to Mr. Torossian and he threatened to fire her and any employee not happy with their status,” her lawyer writes. “Soon thereafter, Ms. Weiss was terminated and her final pay was withheld, leading her to bring a small claims action for her earned pay.”

Weiss’ story is not an unfamiliar one. We’ve received tips telling us the same thing. Among the claims, tipsters say that 5W does not pay overtime to low-level employees, in violation of labor law; that Ronn has docked employees for a full day’s pay, or a vacation day, for being 15 minutes late to work, causing several people to resign; and that employees don’t get proper comp time after working 7 days in a row or more.

On March 1, Ronn sent Weiss the following email, titled “YOUR CLAIMS”:

On March 7—last Friday, the same day that Torossian leaked his own lawsuit against Weiss—he sent her this email:

After Weiss got this “CUNT” message, her lawyer sent a cease-and-desist email to Ronn and his attorney. In it, he noted, “Ms. Weiss will be commencing further claims against 5W and Mr. Torossian individually. Furthermore, Ms. Weiss previously notified the Department of Labor of 5W’s labor violations and we will be cooperating with their investigation to the fullest extent.”

To that message, Ronn responded to Weiss and her attorney with this:

In short, a man who makes his living giving strategic advice to other people responded to a legal email by calling his former employee a “cunt,” and including her attorney on the email. Not much needs to be added to that.

We will note that Ronn does have his defenders—mainly, himself, and (some of) his current employees. Christine Garabedian, a five-year employee of 5W, writes us to say Ronn is an “amazing boss,” adding, “To anyone who would say ‘wow this girl obviously has been brain washed’ YOU ARE DEAD WRONG.”

About Melissa Weiss, Garabedian writes:

“Melissa Weiss came to 5W in 2008 and immediately began asking me “how can you take it here?”. As the HR director are these types of questions appropriate? I suddenly began to think that maybe Melissa was jealous of my success at 5W. As a 30 something, single women who still has her parents address listed on her taxes to avoid paying NYC taxes, I could see how she would be jealous of a successful 27 year old who is happy at her job. I love that she is so happy to say that 5W doesn’t follow regulations when she is the one cheating the government…

PS Melissa I just got engaged- Now are you even more jealous of me :)

Classic 5WPR.

Martin Goldstein says to Ronn Torossian, Aish Spokes-Animal: Sue me!

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Supreme Court Rules Goldstein Can “Defame” Aish HaTorah and 5WPR According to God’s Will

“You seem to be obsessed with my firm.”

Content Opportunity, December, 23, 2009 - Martin Goldstein and the Design Argument Initiative were very pleased that Canada’s top court yesterday issued a landmark ruling giving journalists, and others – including bloggers – who are publishing public interest information, a new and broader defence of “responsible communication” in cases where they may be sued or threatened with libel.

The new defence of “public interest responsible communication” recognizes that some factual errors may occur in day to day journalism but it makes provision for them to be excused when they occur in the “publication is on a matter of public interest” and when “the publisher was diligent in trying to verify the allegation.”

The Man Who Hears Things

“This gives me more liberty to say whatever I want about groups such as Aish, Chabad and Jews for Jesus,” said Goldstein at a champagne celebration he was was attending at the mansion of “the man who hears things”.

“The groups that Goldstein has been targeting are self-interested organizations that have deceived themselves into thinking that they are working for the benefit of their target market,” said a drunken Poetry “the Hammer” Hammer from the large indoor-outdoor swimming pool at the mansion of “the man who hears things.” Poetry Hammer claims that the actions of these missionizing groups would be completely heinous if it wasn’t for the fact that the people that they target have free will. “However, it is similar to multi-level marketing in how they get people involved. I feel ill when I think about it all. It could be that I drank too much mashka at the Chabad farbrengen at the Saint Menachem Mendel Centre for Rehabilitation and Harlotry.”

From Gawker.com:

“Incompetent flackery factory 5WPR has admitted to the internet sock puppetry we covered yesterday—posting fake comments on a blog on behalf of a client. That client, by the way, is a kosher slaughterhouse called Agriprocessors, which has long been under fire for workplace safety and immigration law violations. 5W CEO and paragon of employee satisfaction Ronn Torossian told The Forward that an investigation is underway to determine who’s responsible for the fake comments. But even though Ronn is a friend to Israel, he already has a Rabbi scared for his own safety. Shame! Incompetent shame:

Two of the postings in question were made in the name of Rabbi Morris Allen, a prominent critic of Agriprocessors and the founder of the Conservative movement’s Hekhsher Tzedek initiative, which is attempting to create ethical standards for the production of kosher food. The first of the comments purporting to come from Allen appeared with his name misspelled. The second, which was made midday on July 9, came at the same time that Allen was presiding over the funeral of his aunt in Omaha, Neb.

Grade-A flackery, that.

Allen told the Forward that the postings left him concerned for his safety and for the reputation of Hekhsher Tzedek.

“I’m increasingly concerned about my own safety because if you begin to engage in this kind of behavior, I just wonder where it ends,” he said.

Now they plan to sue 5W! And the blogger who originally uncovered the trolls spoke to a 5W VP who blamed the entire thing on a foolish intern. We’ve emailed him also, but haven’t heard back yet. We did hear back from Ronn late yesterday though, who said:

I am in mexico with my family. Just saw your note but as you have already posted, clearly my reply doesnt interest you. You seem to be obsessed with my firm.

Noted!”

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