Tag Archives: aish.com

Supreme Court Rules Goldstein Can “Defame” Aish HaTorah and 5WPR According to God’s Will

“You seem to be obsessed with my firm.”

Content Opportunity, December, 23, 2009 - Martin Goldstein and the Design Argument Initiative were very pleased that Canada’s top court yesterday issued a landmark ruling giving journalists, and others – including bloggers – who are publishing public interest information, a new and broader defence of “responsible communication” in cases where they may be sued or threatened with libel.

The new defence of “public interest responsible communication” recognizes that some factual errors may occur in day to day journalism but it makes provision for them to be excused when they occur in the “publication is on a matter of public interest” and when “the publisher was diligent in trying to verify the allegation.”

The Man Who Hears Things

“This gives me more liberty to say whatever I want about groups such as Aish, Chabad and Jews for Jesus,” said Goldstein at a champagne celebration he was was attending at the mansion of “the man who hears things”.

“The groups that Goldstein has been targeting are self-interested organizations that have deceived themselves into thinking that they are working for the benefit of their target market,” said a drunken Poetry “the Hammer” Hammer from the large indoor-outdoor swimming pool at the mansion of “the man who hears things.” Poetry Hammer claims that the actions of these missionizing groups would be completely heinous if it wasn’t for the fact that the people that they target have free will. “However, it is similar to multi-level marketing in how they get people involved. I feel ill when I think about it all. It could be that I drank too much mashka at the Chabad farbrengen at the Saint Menachem Mendel Centre for Rehabilitation and Harlotry.”

From Gawker.com:

“Incompetent flackery factory 5WPR has admitted to the internet sock puppetry we covered yesterday—posting fake comments on a blog on behalf of a client. That client, by the way, is a kosher slaughterhouse called Agriprocessors, which has long been under fire for workplace safety and immigration law violations. 5W CEO and paragon of employee satisfaction Ronn Torossian told The Forward that an investigation is underway to determine who’s responsible for the fake comments. But even though Ronn is a friend to Israel, he already has a Rabbi scared for his own safety. Shame! Incompetent shame:

Two of the postings in question were made in the name of Rabbi Morris Allen, a prominent critic of Agriprocessors and the founder of the Conservative movement’s Hekhsher Tzedek initiative, which is attempting to create ethical standards for the production of kosher food. The first of the comments purporting to come from Allen appeared with his name misspelled. The second, which was made midday on July 9, came at the same time that Allen was presiding over the funeral of his aunt in Omaha, Neb.

Grade-A flackery, that.

Allen told the Forward that the postings left him concerned for his safety and for the reputation of Hekhsher Tzedek.

“I’m increasingly concerned about my own safety because if you begin to engage in this kind of behavior, I just wonder where it ends,” he said.

Now they plan to sue 5W! And the blogger who originally uncovered the trolls spoke to a 5W VP who blamed the entire thing on a foolish intern. We’ve emailed him also, but haven’t heard back yet. We did hear back from Ronn late yesterday though, who said:

I am in mexico with my family. Just saw your note but as you have already posted, clearly my reply doesnt interest you. You seem to be obsessed with my firm.

Noted!”

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I return to blog

I am much better and can now blog from the Saint Menachem Mendel Centre for Rehabilitation and Harlotry checkers and playing cards room which was donated by The Jerusalem Fund of Aish HaTorah and the Clarion Fund. According to Clarion Fund’s incorporation papers, it is based at the same address as Aish Hatorah. The three founders of The Clarion Fund are or were full-time employees of Aish HaTorah. Raphael Shore, the leader of The Clarion Fund is also a full-time employee of Aish HaTorah. The Clarion Fund has collaborated with pro-Israel media watch organization HonestReporting in the production of its films. HonestReporting originally was a project of Aish Hatorah. Scandal! Scandal!

Of course I appreciate the room as it is a good space in which to use my laptop with high speed internet. Everything happens by God’s design, his intelligent design including the number of references to Aish.com, Aish Hatorah, Clarion, Ronn Torossian, 5wpr and the ludicrous assumption that Aish is apolitical. I have no doubt that this was all predicted in the famous Bible Codes which are used to impress Jews and make them not want to hook up with non-Jews.

My legs are sore. They are so sore! I have been running around the Saint Menachem Mendel Centre for Rehabilitation and Harlotry like a crazy man because I want to be fit for Nurse Crystal, my new love.

I am working on a piece about the strategic marketing alliance that Chabad and Jews for Jesus are entering into. I am pleased that this is happening since they have so much to offer each other. This venture may include the new group Jews for Ed Sullivan.

That is all the content that I will provide for now. Let this be a Clarion call for Truth, Beauty, Honesty, and Lovingkindness.

Nurse Crystal gets dinner ready

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Aish Hatorah, Obsession, Ron Torossian, and Radical Self-Deception

Martin Goldstein, who has recovered magnificently and should be returning to the Design Argument site very soon, has asked me to post the following article by Jeffrey Goldberg on the Design Argument blog. He knows that the article is not going to appear funny or poetic to other people but Martin shrieks with laughter whenever he reads this article. Here it is.

Now Jeffrey Goldberg has joined the chorus of critics:

Aish HaTorah denies any direct connection to the film (Obsession), which is designed to make naive Americans believe that B-52s filled with radical jihadists are about to carpet-bomb their churches, and are only awaiting Barack Obama’s ascension to launch the attack. But the manifold connections, as laid out in this article, among others, make it clear that high-level officials of Aish are up to their chins in this project. The most disreputable flack in New York, Ronn Torossian, who represents Aish, makes an appearance in this story, which was to be expected: Torossian last made the news when he employed sock-puppetry in defense of one of his many indefensible clients, Agriprocessors, Inc., the Luvavitch-owned kosher slaughterhouse that treats its employees nearly as badly as it treats its animals, which is saying something, because Agriprocessor slaughterers have been filmed ripping out the tracheas of living cattle.

But I digress. It’s said of Ronn Torossian that he represents “right-wing” Israeli politicians, but this description does not do his clients justice. “Right-wing” is Bibi Netanyahu. Torossian represents the lunatic fringe. Several years ago, in one of my only encounters with him, he introduced me to Benny Elon, a rabbi and settler leader who was then Israel’s tourism minister, and who, at various points in his career, has more or less advocated the ethnic cleansing of Israel of its Arab citizens. At one point, when Elon had gone to take a telephone call, Torossian and I started talking about Israel’s right to reprisal for terrorist attacks. I was arguing in favor of some sort of proportionality (this was after Jenin, in which the Israeli army chose to root out terrorism block by block rather than bomb the city from the air) but Torossian interrupted: “I think we should kill a hundred Arabs or a thousand Arabs for every one Jew they kill.” I was somewhat taken aback, of course, because this is a Nazi idea, rather than a Jewish idea. I asked him to explicate: “If someone from a town blows himself up and kills Jews, we should wipe out the town he’s from, kill them all. The Israelis are suckers. They should have destroyed Jenin.” He went on like this for some time. I would only note that Torossian, to the best of my knowledge, never volunteered for the Israeli army, so he seemed to me by definition a chickenhawk.

Torossian’s attitude toward Arabs and toward the peace process are echoed in the approach of Aish HaTorah, which is just about the most fundamentalist movement in Judaism today. Its operatives flourish in the radical belt of Jewish settlements just south of Nablus, in the northern West Bank, and their outposts across the world propagandize on behalf of a particularly sterile, sexist and revanchist brand of Judaism. Which is amusing, of course, because “Obsession” is meant to expose a particularly sterile, sexist and racist brand of Islam.

The tragedy of “Obsession” is not that it is wrong; the tragedy is that it takes a serious issue, and a serious threat—that of Islamism—and makes it into a cartoon. Its central argument is that the “Islamofascism” of today is not only the equivalent of Nazism, but worse than Nazism. This is quite a thing for a Jewish organization to argue. One of the featured speakers in “Obsession” is a self-described “former PLO terrorist” named Walid Shoebat, who argues on film that a “secular dogma like Nazism is less dangerous than Islamofascism is today.”

The previous Aish Rebbe

The previous Aish Rebbe

This is lunacy, of course. Islamism isn’t Nazism. It’s bad enough without being labeled Nazism. Martin Gilbert, the biographer of Churchill, shows up in the film as well, and doesn’t cover himself in glory: “History has an unfortunate habit of always repeating itself,” he says. Always? Does this mean that the Arabs are right now constructing death camps for the Jewish citizens of Israel?

Just unbelievable, but the most unbelievable part of the “Obsession” campaign is its timing: What does this film have to do with Barack Obama? The film is meant to suggest that Obama will provide aid and comfort to Islamism, or is an Islamist himself. There is not one shred of proof on this planet that Barack Obama is anything other than an Israel-supporting Christian. Yes, he went to party with Rashid Khalidi. So did I. Does that make me a member of Hezbollah?

The current Aish Rebber

The current Aish Rebbe

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Avoid Bogart-Bacall Syndrome

This purpose of this post is to move the picture of Lauren Bacall of the previous post further down the page.

The Bogart-Bacall Syndrome

What happens when you speak lower than your vocal comfort zone for continuous periods of time?

You might adopt that Hollywood sound Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall were famous for, but you may get more than just the sound… you might get the syndrome!

On aish.com it says: “In his newest movie, “Diamonds,” Michael Douglas stars as a former boxing champion who, in his twilight years, is a widower recovering from a stroke. The movie’s title is inspired by its plot, where his character teams up with his son and grandson to recover some diamonds they suspect were stolen from him. It also stars Dan Ackroyd and Lauren Bacall.”

Lauren Bacall was born Betty Joan Perske on September 16, 1924, the only child of William and Natalie (Weinstein-Bacal) Perske. Her father was a salesman from Alsace; her mother, the daughter of German-Rumanian immigrants, worked as an executive secretary. After they were divorced, her mother took the “Bacal” part of her maiden name. (Later, Bacall added another “l”, and “Lauren” was a Hollywood addition.)

Lauren Bacall Whistle

Evidence that we ignore that Impermanence is built into the design of the universe

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Goldstein Report

While I try to figure out what to write, I thought I should provide Design Argument readers with a Goldstein Report so you could all know what is going on with the primary author of general content for this very busy blog.

First I would like to correct an assumption made by many readers that he will be opening a car dealership under the name Goldstein Auto or under the name Goldstein Subaru. He has no such plans.

Martin Goldstein is feeling much better than he was but his doctors and caregivers are encouraging him not to get back into the fray for some time. As he is not allowed to go near a computer under any circumstances a scribe is writing all emails and comments addressed to him with feather quill on parchment-cured, tanned, scraped and prepared according to exacting specifications and using the intricate calligraphic guidelines of Ashurite Script. When he is well enough, he reads the messages himself. When he is bedridden, a professional town crier shouts the messages to him.

He has fallen in love with one of the nurses at the hospital and is involved in a deep and intimate relationship with her. He has begun three new books, tentatively titled: “If God is so good from a human point of view, then why is God so bad from a human point of view?” and “A Competitive Synergy: Jews for Jesus, Chabad, and Aish Hatorah.” and “Is the Glass Half Empty Or Is It Just Broken?”.

I will be posting poems in the very near future if such be the design of God.

Yours in Ed Sullivan,

Poetry Hammer

Martin Goldstein undergoing the highly controversial Gamma Orneation procedure performed by Nurse Crystal and her assistant.

goldstein treatment

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Solutions to Goldstein problems and the matter of Oral Roberts

Oral Roberts, classical mechanics, and a swirling cloud. A famous evangelist passes away from this earthly plane while Goldstein problems and Goldstein solutions are presented as if they were a gift to a man half asleep yet having an axe to grind.

goldstein ax to grindBenjamin Franklin stated, long before Aish.com or even the internet was a gleam in the industrial evolution’s Darwinian eye, that grinding an axe requires a grindstone. And ye better be having a grindstone if ye be wanting to grind yer axe.

In 1779 Ben Franklin sent a story called ‘The Whistle’ to his friend. It was about a child who paid more than he should have for a whistle and was later sorry for his lack of caution. Franklin’s autobiography, written between 1771 and his death in 1790 and first published in 1791, also contains an anecdote concerning a man who asked a smith to sharpen his ax especially well and ended up doing the work of turning the grindstone himself. Neither story mentions the phrase “an ax to grind”.

So who knows?

As to the evangelist Oral Roberts, founder of the Oral Roberts Evangelistic Association and Oral Roberts University, well he died Tuesday from complications of pneumonia in Newport Beach, California at the age of 91. He had an incredible career in the business of religion. His acumen was legendary and inspired the evangelical pursuits of some of the great “outreach organizations” such as Jews for Jesus, Jews for Judaism, Aish Hatorah, and Chabad just to name a few. He will be missed. Aish Hatorah and Chabad were contacted for a comment about the passing of this great man but neither organization could find anyone that was not too choked up to make a comment.

Ring my friend I said you’d call Oral Roberts,
Day or night he’ll be there anytime at all Oral Roberts.

Oral Roberts, you’re a new and better man,
He helps you to understand,
He does everything he can, Oral Roberts.

If your down he’ll pick you up Oral Roberts,
Take a drink from his special cup Oral Roberts

Oral Roberts, he’s a man you must believe,
Helping everyone in need,
No one can succeed like Oral Roberts

Well, well, well your feeling fine,
Well, well, well, he’ll make you Oral Roberts

My friend works for the national health Oral Roberts,
Don’t take money to see yourself with Oral Roberts

Oral Roberts, you’re a new and better man,
He helps you to understand,
He does everything he can Oral Roberts

Well, well, well, your feeling fine,
Well, well, well, he’ll make you Oral Roberts

Ring my friend I said you’d call Oral Roberts (2x)
Oral Roberts!

As far as the Goldstein solution? Your guess is as good as mine but I like to think that a cloud swirl picture will suffice when words fail. Could it be a bomb that we are looking at here? Is that what the cloud of glory is?

cloud swirl goldstein solution

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