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By Content Opportunity, January 14, 2010 2:10 pm

With feeds from Ronn Torossian, 5WPR and Aish Hatorah – The Design Argument readership is hitting dramatic new heights in readership size but it seems to be coming at a price.

David Hume consultants have been brought in to analyze the foremost teleological blog in the known and seemingly designed universe. David Hume determined that the quality of writing has decreased by a stunning 37%. The analysis is based on several factors including originality of content, readability level, cogency, and genre-appropriateness.

“In almost every conceivable area Design Argument is failing to deliver decent content,” said the 17th century Scottish philosopher David Hume. “The fact that readership levels are soaring within the same time cycles as the shameful drop in writing quality may be akin to the same social forces that led to Avatar becoming a box office smash. There is no content in that film at all or if there is I missed it while I was sleeping.”

Hume went on to give a blistering criticism of the argument for design. If a well-ordered natural world requires a special designer, then God’s mind (being so well-ordered) also requires a special designer. And then this designer would likewise need a designer, and so on ad infinitum. We could respond by resting content with an inexplicably self-ordered divine mind but then why not rest content with an inexplicably self-ordered natural world? Often, what appears to be purpose, where it looks like object X has feature F in order to secure outcome O, is better explained by a filtering process: that is, object X wouldn’t be around did it not possess feature F, and outcome O is only interesting to us as a human projection of goals onto nature. This mechanical explanation of teleology anticipated natural selection.

“I am chagrined by the low calibre of content in recent posts on the Design Argument Blog,” remarked Martin Goldstein who is also falling behind on his “720 apologies in 3 days” project. “I am in such a tizzy. I am so sorry.”

There are some Design Argument observers that are concerned that the site is repeating itself and is losing its relevancy.

“How many times do we have to hear about how vulgar and unethical Ronn Torossian and 5WPR is? How many times do we have to read about how Aish HaTorah plays fast and loose with the truth? I mean it is all true but so what? I liked the post with the monkey playing the piano and the three cute dogs and what not. That was a quality post. I just don’t need to hear anymore about how Aish deceives people with their phony bible codes,” said an anonymous Design Argument fan.

Another Design Argument fan said that the stress on the weirdness of Chabad outreach and Jews for Jesus “is beginning to bore me. But I did like all that Ed Sullivan stuff.”

Martin Goldstein, taking time out from his apology tour, stated that he was going to personally see to it that the quality and originality of the blog content will be improved “as of this very post. However I still want to get my keywords in,” he chuckled.

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By Content Opportunity, January 4, 2010 7:12 pm

Aish and Chabad: Outbreach of Trust and Faith

Aish HaTorah and Chabad have been spreading misinformation and lies for years in an effort to “save souls”. In a sense that is the norm since, if you analyze it in a harsh way, most businesses are involved in some form of lie, exaggeration, or enticement in order to grow their revenue. Chabad and Aish HaTorah in their cult like behaviour are businesses in a very real sense. They have a product, they market that product and they are concerned about their bottom lines.

Atheism is also a business, particularly for entrepreneurs such as Richard Dawkins who used to be a scientist. He is selling atheism products in his store and using the cute tilted red “A” symbol as his new branding image (nice brand Ricky!). Just before Christmas he was selling holiday bundles! And I thought he didn’t believe in Santa! His wares include: various DVDs and DVD sets, t-shirts, baseball caps, sweatshirts with hoods, books, audiobooks, , mugs, stickers, tote bags, and lapel pins with the cute “A” on it.

Martin Goldstein is very pleased that Richard Dawkins has managed to use his atheism as a springboard for greater recognition and financial success. “Dawkins, Chabad, Aish HaTorah, Jews for Jesus, etc. all feed off each other and keep each other going,” said Goldstein, Chief Evangelical Leader of Goldstein Subaru and Goldstein Auto. “They don’t know how closely linked they are and I find that to be just so cute and adorable.”

Martin Goldstein predicts that Dawkins, Chabad, Aish HaTorah, and Jews for Jesus will put aside their differences and form a strategic alliance to promote their ideas and increase their revenue flows. “The secret is that they are already doing this without knowing it,” says Goldstein. “What on the outside seems like opposing theistic/atheistic/messianic views, is really all just something I like to call “Theatre of the Brain.”

Performance of “Theatre of the Brain” by the Outreach Bunnies

Members of Chabad, Aish HaTorah, Jews for Jesus, with Richard Dawkins.