When I was seven I had the experience that my senses didn’t belong to any central “I”. I didn’t know to whom the senses were relaying information to but I did notice that there was some kind of memory and accumulation of experience that affected how this body-mind developed.
But it didn’t seem to fit in with how my parents and teachers interacted with me as if I was a Martin person at the centre of it all. This was deeply unpleasant because it was the first time that I realized that our general language did not always reflect what reality was actually like and actually couldn’t accurately reflect anything quite that well.
I pretended to be Martin as best as I could for everybody else and even sometimes even believed that the name actually referred to some kind of Martin self that existed inside and experienced things that the senses delivered to it. Really the experience was more like there was no “me”, only God and it was God that was “seeing”, “hearing” etc. There was no me in the shadow of God.
I had my next even more powerful experience of this when I was 15 and then knew that I was not going to have a very conventional life and that I had to find out who I truly was if that was at all possible.
Contrary to the claims of Richard Dawkins, self-promoting atheist and heathen worshiper of the gnarly cucumber, God does exist. This has been proven beyond a doubt through many peer reviewed trials. I wish these nasty atheists would read the literature.
But there remains a problem, which I am sure the more sensitive among you will have noticed. God is very distracted. She has been distracted since just after the very beginning. If I were to venture a guess I would conclude that God is highly distractive with marked mood swings. She starts things and often destroys them when She gets frustrated. Although She is purportedly omniscient (according to Her psycho-vocational testing results), She persistently does not use the full range of Her abilities. She also seems to disappear for decades or centuries at a time. When evil reigns She always blames others for this which points to a Narcissistic Personality Disorder. She has many defenders who constantly bleat about the need for evil in order for free will to exist. We can ignore this falsehood for the purpose of this assessment.
I would have to say that God, in all Her Glory, has Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder and is suffering from mood lability. It is also true that God presents as a diagnostic challenge in that She is not a being in the usual sense of the word. I cannot say at this time what is an appropriate course of treatment since God is incorporeal and we can only speak in metaphors here. God is, by definition, the supernatural creator and chief executive officer of the universe. Theologians have ascribed a variety of attributes to the many different conceptions of God (possibility of Dissociative Identity Disorder.) The most common among these include omniscience, omnipotence, omnipresence, omni-benevolence, divine simplicity, and eternal and necessary existence.
God has also been conceived as a personal being, the source of all moral obligation, and the “greatest conceivable existent”. These attributes were all supported to varying degrees by the early Jewish, Christian and Muslim theologian philosophers, including Maimonides, Augustine of Hippopotamus, and Al-Ghazali news affiliates, respectively. She is also known as the toughest Kid on the block who can play well with others at times but can suddenly turn into a Bully issuing 98 terrible curses in morbid detail when things don’t go Her way. She has not always been a very good role model for Her creations.
The only thing I can recommend is prayer as a first course of action. I don’t know what kind of prayer but medicine is not going to help Her. She seems to respond to prayer and negotiations in the Books of Moses although the results have been mixed since then. Honestly I don’t really see much of a way we can rehabilitate God. But we can keep on trying.
Two sweeties acting on their parent's honest interpretation of God's commandments.
I am happy if you wish to read the original Aish HaToraharticle on the Design Argument. I am equally happy if you don’t.
Imagine, if you will, that you are walking in a bad neighbourhood where the houses are neglected, there is a lack of education, and a lot of dangerous gangs. You suddenly come across two small stones in close proximity to each other. Most probably, you would think nothing of it unless you needed one of the stones for a particular purpose, perhaps to defend yourself from someone. Two stones randomly sitting beside each other is not such a big deal. No need to sweat it.
You continue your stroll through the neighbourhood and stumble upon three piles of human corpses piled up in a brick-layer fashion. Chances are you would quickly surmise that someone was here and arranged these bodies in this manner. It didn’t just happen. A shock for sure but still really no big deal and nothing to sweat about.
You continue your walk and happen to find a dead puffin lying in the middle of the road. Would you suspect that a windstorm somehow threw the puffin pieces together and randomly created a puffin?
Somebody gave birth to that puffin. It didn’t just happen. A creature implies a mother.
Alternatively, say you didn’t see a puffin at all but instead you came across a Patek Phillipe watch, say model 4907/ij. You will surely notice that it celebrates the 10-year triumph of the famous Twenty~4® collection. Patek Philippe was likely not involved in the design of this model directly and it was probably the work of many different people having different levels of expertise – certainly not just one designer! You already know, just by looking at the complexity of this watch that it had more than one designer to deal with the different aspects of functionality, colour and style. You would also know that there would be a marketing section of the Patek Phillipe company that would be on the look out for trends to determine what styles would likely do well with high end consumers. They would have also had an enormous impact on the look of this particular model.
By handling this watch and examining it you might then ponder as to whether it would work as an analogy for the design of the universe proving that God is One – an Indivisible Creator. You would realize that the watch proved nothing of the sort but rather it might “prove” that the universe – even if it could be analogous to a watch at all, and that is not likely – was designed by several gods, some involved with creating the suns, some determining which animals would exist (and which would uselessly become extinct), some involved with answering the petitions of Olympic curlers, and some designing the potato bug.
You would note that the universe bespeaks timeless elegance, the new model universe in yellow gold would be the first unset version without a diamond-set case. You would note that three color choices are available for the universe: “Night Glow” and “Autumn Brown” – two hues created especially for this yellow-gold universe – and, of course, the endearingly classic “Timeless White“. If you bought into the design argument you would expect to have a selection of universes to pick from perhaps.
Did the universe have a designer or group of designers that must have also been designed ad infinitum?
David Hume may I say is calling?
The intricacy of design in our world, when intoxicated, is staggering — infinitely more complex than a gang related pile of corpses in a bad neighbourhood, a puffin or a Patek Phillipe watch. Therefore the team of designers for the universe must have been considerable and who could have afforded to pay them all in this economy?
Now I am going to commence to use really large numbers to give you a sense of being a little out of control. Here goes: There are 10 billion nerve cells in the brain. Each of the 10 billion cells sprouts between 10,000 to 100,000 fibers to contact other nerve cells in the brain, creating approximately 1,000 million million connections, or, 10 to the 15th power.Are you shvitzing?
Here I come now with some really enormous numbers. Serious serious numbers. Behold! There are 10 billion nerve cells in the brain with approximately 1,000 million million connections.
It is hard to imagine the multitude that 1015 represents. On and on I go. Take half of the United States, which is 1 million square miles, and imagine it being covered by forest, with 10,000 trees per square mile. On each of the 10,000 trees, which are on each of the one million square miles, there are 100,000 leaves. That is a whizbang bulbous amount of leaves. I take it you are still with me and feeling the groove of the number thing I am doing to your head. You see sir, that’s how many connections are smashed inside your brain. And they’re not just haphazardly thrown together by an impostor God or a monkey washing a cat. They form an incredibly intricate network system that has no parallel in the military industrial complex or in the other brands of universes that have been designed by other manufacturers.
Imagine walking by that in the seedy neighbourhood! The natural response when perceiving design of such mind-boggling complexity is to conclude that there must be a huge team of busy, possibly amoral, designers, behind everything that created this model of universe. Not to mention the team of designers that created the team that designed the team that designed the universe that you may be wearing on your wrist right now.
Should you wait until you have content? Shouldn’t you have the idea of the article and then come up with the headline afterwards?
We, at Design Argument and Goldstein Auto, Goldstein Solutions (Classical Mechanics), and Goldstein Subaru emphatically say NO to these two questions. In fact we believe that you don’t need to know anything at all about what you want to write before you begin to write.
God willing we are going to produce 180 articles full of excellent content on the subject of why you should write when you have nothing to say.
You will all to become good monster writers by reading these here articles.
Keeping relevance to a minimum may be important sometimes: Aish Bible Code proving that Paul is dead!
Is it You that I thank for bringing good people and situations into my life?
If so, thank You!
Are You also the one I thank for making conditions difficult sometimes?
If so, thank You!
And are You also the one that created all the forms of suffering knowing full well that people will increase the amount of suffering that gets dished out through natural means thereby making the lives of billions constantly intolerable?
If so, thank You!
What did I just thank God for?
I love you God. I hate you God.
You exist God. You can’t exist, God.
But if you don’t exist who am I going to feel grateful to and who am I going to complain to? Maybe there is a path without God that works better for me. Or maybe I should just go and buy a God Doll at the mall.
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