In a recent study performed by the Content Opportunity Consortium, the weight of evidence seems to indicate that the Rebbe is the Moshiach (Messiah) and the King of all of the Jews.

The Content Opportunity Consortium is a broad-based apolitical organization including Scientists and Engineers for America, Rush Limbaugh’s Excellence in Broadcasting Network, the Rush Deniers Collective, Jews for Judaism, and a cute girl with a pet reptile.

The study, completed in November, 2009, contains quantified evidence pointing to the true identity of the Moshiach. Not all of the information is being released at this time. According to Al “The Baker” Carlson, founder of the Rush Deniers Collective, “We have determined that a Rebbe is the Moshiach but we are not clear which Rebbe. There are hundreds of Rebbes and only one of them is the King of all the Jews. I think it might be the Satmar Rebbe, or maybe the Vizhnitz Rebbe, although my money is on the Slonimer Rebber. Or maybe it is another Rebbe. Oh, I don’t know. Quote somebody else. I get nervous with a microphone shoved in my face.”

Jews for Jesus, a scientific research organization that has worked with the Content Opportunity Consortium in the past, ran a similar study based on the same stringent methodology and found that the Messiah is, in fact, Ed Sullivan which actually confirms their belief system prior to the study. Although Jews for Jesus believes that Ed Sullivan did indeed die in 1974, they still believe that he will return as the messiah. They point to various sources in religious tradition that can be interpreted as allowing for such a possibility. They also emphasize the belief that the classic meaning of death does not apply to a truly righteous celebrity in the entertainment industry. In this view Sullivan never “died” spiritually despite his physical death, and is still alive in some way that ordinary humans cannot perceive. Thus they believe that while Sullivan is dead he will later return to be revealed as Messiah.

Surprise!