Tag Archives: Rabbi Dan Rand

aish hatorah jews for jesus Messiah Religion

Jews for Jesus ashamed of themselves

This post is dedicated to my brother on his birthday.
Potato Bug Messiah

Aish HaTorah expects unprecedented market growth

Jews for Jesus leaders have announced that everyone involved in the once proud organization is now thoroughly ashamed of themselves. And it is not because of the recent incident involving unchilled beverages in a Winnipeg literary salon.

It has now been revealed that Jews for Jesus is closing down over half of their branches including all of their branches in South Florida where, according to one source, many Jews vacation. It turns out that they were wrong about the identity of the Messiah all along. Some of the organization’s chief outreach professionals have been aware of this for several years but have kept it under wraps for fear of losing their jobs and not being able to get similar positions with the notorious Aish HaTorah organization.

“This is a tragic moment in the history of an outreach giant,” said Rabbi Dan Rand, managing director of Aish Toronto. “Aish and Jews for Jesus have not always seen eye to eye on every single issue but we take no pleasure in the fact that they have come to realize that their notion of who the true Messiah is has now proven to be wrong. We have learned much from them over the years and we certainly hope that they are able to get back up on the horse, pick a new Messiah, and start blathering on about it to everybody that will listen.”

The Potato Bug Messiah

Outreach industry professionals from every corner of the globe have been shaken by this unexpected turn of events. “This is simply unbelievable,” said Father Alyoshus the Jenimbobimbo, leader of the Church of the Lost Cause, a group that believes the Messiah is a potato bug that exists in the phantom zone, waiting for the right moment to enter phenomenological reality whereupon he will be tragically misinterpreted. He added: “Does this have anything to do with that Ed Sullivan controversy thing? Or maybe Ronn Torossian?”

Joey Cryptus, outreach prospect and angler said: “Everybody is talking about who is the real Messiah. They are saying it is Jesus, or a mysterious potato bug, or Moses, or Mohammed, or whatever! But will it buy me a farm in China?”

Jews for Jesus representatives were too embarrassed to make a comment. Some Chabad members were eager to commenrt but we were not interested in what they have to say.

Jews for Ed Sullivan Executive Director for Weird Operations, 90 year old Mary Katherine Steinberg, gave a brief statement: “I am saving my money for when I get old.”

Monkey Washes a Cat

Tip of the hat to my son for bringing this video to my attention – the arrival of the messiah will not be televised.

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Aish HaTorah Chose a Spokes-Animal to Represent Them

“F*** you very much,” Ronn Torossian, Aish Spokes-Animal


Content Opportunity, December, 23, 2009Aish HaTorah chose wisely when they picked 5WPR to represent their public relations issues. That is the same Aish that is an “apolitical” organization.

The Man Who Hears Things

Rabbi Dan Rand, Managing Director of Aish Toronto told Martin Goldstein that the primary mission of Aish HaTorah was to stop Jewish assimilation and intermarriage. Everything else was secondary including any spiritual development. Our guess is that the spiritual stuff is window dressing so as to distract from their primary goal. We believe that they will pursue their primary mission by any means necessary and if that includes lying about “bible codes” and propping up Kelleman’s silly arguments to make people feel intellectually “comfortable” to “be religious” then so be it.

Martin Goldstein has been through it all and seen how they work. He has witnessed what Rabbi Rand refers to as “Aish nuclear fallout” (we won’t say whom he was referring to). He has seen the internecine squabbles and witnessed the loshon harah (harmful speech). Basically he has seen the hypocrisy and corruption of the organization. An organization is corrupt when their primary mission is not declared publicly and they use a secondary mission as an obfuscation. They are lying to themselves and to the Jews who are looking to find some spiritual Judaism.

Martin Goldstein believes that Aish HaTorah is finding a measure of success in achieving their primary mission. But that success is coming at a cost. We do hope that they take this honest criticism to heart but we have faint hope of that since these are fundamentalists and fundamentalism is like a mountain that cannot be budged.

So it does not surprise us that Aish has chosen a man, Ronn Torossian, who embodies what Aish is as an institution. Nice on the outside, aggressive to the core and disdainful of other organizations or people who do not see things their way. Ronn is also a skilled manipulator and liar, perfect for the needs of Aish HaTorah.

Here from Gawker.com is the story of Ronn Torossian, the current Rebbe of Aish HaTorah:

When Ronn Torossian, the incompetent superflack and 5WPR CEO who reps characters ranging from softcore porn king Joe Francis to nutty televangelist Benny Hinn Ministries, sued his former HR director Melissa Weiss last week, he was using a classic PR tactic: getting out ahead of the story. Ronn alleged in his suit that Weiss helped an employee leave 5W, thereby violating her contract. But Weiss has her own side of the story: that she was fired because she protested extensive, ongoing labor violations at 5WPR. What we know—because we have the evidence—is that on Friday, Ronn sent Weiss an email threatening, “You will pay for the rest of your life for trying to ruin my business.” The subject line read, “YOU STUPID CUNT.”

It’s important to understand why we—and others—talk about Ronn Torossian so much. He and his firm are far from the biggest players in the PR industry, so it may seem strange that he gets so much attention. The real reason he matters is that he embodies the public’s worst ideas about what a PR person is: loud, brash, more flash than substance, dirty, manipulative, amoral, and, in the end, not particularly bright. The real movers and shakers in the PR industry achieved their positions partly by keeping their mouths shut. That doesn’t make them better people than Ronn, but it does make them wiser.

Most people would be surprised to find out how much time the average PR person spends worrying about their industry’s reputation as a den of lying bastards. Ronn has the touchiness, but not the reflective nature, of his peers. A few years ago I wrote an article in PRWeek calling him a self-promoter (a vast understatement), and we haven’t gotten along ever since. Each of us thinks the other is a jerk; I’m happy with that, and I assume he is too.

Mention 5W or Ronn to most people in the PR industry, and you will draw a chuckle or a roll of the eyes. Mention him to most reporters who have been the recipients of his ALL CAPS, nonsensical email blasts , and you’ll draw an even worse reaction. When I covered the PR industry for three years at PRWeek, I don’t recall ever hearing any unqualified praise of Ronn from anyone who was off the record. That’s not normal. He gets more press for himself than just about anybody else in PR, and consequently, has a huge effect on how people perceive the industry as a whole. And that drives a lot of people crazy, because he is just a terrible representative. Although, it must be said, he is colorful, and provides good copy—he embraces the (misguided) “all press is good press” philosophy, even if his peers wish he didn’t.

Hopefully, the emails below are evidence enough for the world to see exactly why Ronn inspires the feelings that he does. He will often brag about building his firm from the ground up, and his claims are true; to the extent that you admire unbridled entrepreneurship independent of any social value, you should admire Mr. Torossian. But fundamentally, he’s a hustler; and, as a PR professional, he has no idea what he’s doing.

According to Melissa Weiss’ lawyer, she found out soon after she was hired at 5W last month that Ronn was violating the law by miscategorizing employees and not paying them overtime. “Ms. Weiss reported these violations to Mr. Torossian and he threatened to fire her and any employee not happy with their status,” her lawyer writes. “Soon thereafter, Ms. Weiss was terminated and her final pay was withheld, leading her to bring a small claims action for her earned pay.”

Weiss’ story is not an unfamiliar one. We’ve received tips telling us the same thing. Among the claims, tipsters say that 5W does not pay overtime to low-level employees, in violation of labor law; that Ronn has docked employees for a full day’s pay, or a vacation day, for being 15 minutes late to work, causing several people to resign; and that employees don’t get proper comp time after working 7 days in a row or more.

On March 1, Ronn sent Weiss the following email, titled “YOUR CLAIMS”:

On March 7—last Friday, the same day that Torossian leaked his own lawsuit against Weiss—he sent her this email:

After Weiss got this “CUNT” message, her lawyer sent a cease-and-desist email to Ronn and his attorney. In it, he noted, “Ms. Weiss will be commencing further claims against 5W and Mr. Torossian individually. Furthermore, Ms. Weiss previously notified the Department of Labor of 5W’s labor violations and we will be cooperating with their investigation to the fullest extent.”

To that message, Ronn responded to Weiss and her attorney with this:

In short, a man who makes his living giving strategic advice to other people responded to a legal email by calling his former employee a “cunt,” and including her attorney on the email. Not much needs to be added to that.

We will note that Ronn does have his defenders—mainly, himself, and (some of) his current employees. Christine Garabedian, a five-year employee of 5W, writes us to say Ronn is an “amazing boss,” adding, “To anyone who would say ‘wow this girl obviously has been brain washed’ YOU ARE DEAD WRONG.”

About Melissa Weiss, Garabedian writes:

“Melissa Weiss came to 5W in 2008 and immediately began asking me “how can you take it here?”. As the HR director are these types of questions appropriate? I suddenly began to think that maybe Melissa was jealous of my success at 5W. As a 30 something, single women who still has her parents address listed on her taxes to avoid paying NYC taxes, I could see how she would be jealous of a successful 27 year old who is happy at her job. I love that she is so happy to say that 5W doesn’t follow regulations when she is the one cheating the government…

PS Melissa I just got engaged- Now are you even more jealous of me :)

Classic 5WPR.

Martin Goldstein says to Ronn Torossian, Aish Spokes-Animal: Sue me!

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